Monthly Archives: July 2020

Poornam- Complete

This post is written to the word prompt “Complete” in a weekly contest organized by DYWT (Did You Write Today?) FB group. Though I do not know much Sanskrit, when I read the prompt, the shloka “Poornamadah Poornamidah” was all I could think of. I could hear the words reverbrating in my core. Poornam stands for “Complete” or “Whole” in Sanskrit and for a deeper understanding of this powerful verse from the Ishavasya Upanishad, please see the attached link to its meaning at the bottom of the post.

POORNAM – COMPLETE.

Our presentation for today’s art and creative writing summer workshop for elementary school kids is titled “The Emotional Arc Of Storytelling.” Through the theme of roller coasters, my colleague, Pavani, and I plan to bring to light how good storytelling needs to have ups and downs, twists and turns, and loop-de-loops in the plot for a more complete experience. As I begin to chart my lesson plan, the innocent faces of some of the younger students in our class comes to mind. Would they be able to grapple the concept of infusing emotion into their narration? Maybe, ‘Emotion’ is too strong of a word for them. Would it be easier to use the words ‘Feelings’ instead?

Then a doubt creeps into my ever curious mind. Are emotions and feelings synonymous?

As is the norm these days I google the difference between emotions and feelings and I find my answer in a study from Wake Forest University.

Feelings arise in the conscious mind while emotions manifest in the subconscious mind. They are not interchangeable terms. Emotions are universal bodily sensations while feelings are personal interpretations of emotions. Love, hunger, pain are feelings while anger, happiness and disgust are emotions. The article is complex and even before I finish reading the article, my minds sucks me into an ever turbulent black hole of questions. What then is depression?

Is it an emotion or is it a feeling – a personal interpretation of sadness, of unworthiness? And naturally, another question pops up.

Why did Sushant Singh Rajput end his life?

Every day articles about the young actor’s battle with depression and his dying make their rounds on social media. They reflect the shock impact his suicide left on the people and they bring up the same queries. Why did someone so handsome, so talented, and so successful find his life unworthy? His life so seemingly complete and brilliant to us yet to him felt incomplete.

Did the current state of the pandemic stricken world with its chaos and uncertainty have something to do with it? Will life ever return to normal again?

A ping on my phone brings me out of the everlasting loop of thought.

“We closed on the house! Finally!!!” texts my friend.

“Congratulations!” I reply back, genuinely happy for her. She has worked hard to make this happen, managing two jobs and a family. She’s moving to a house bigger than the current one. Selfishly, my happiness stems not just from friendship but also from relief. People buying bigger homes, moving up the socio-economic ladder gives a semblance of returning normalcy to the present situation. Isn’t that what we all strive towards? Bigger dreams that encompass an abundance of health, wealth and happiness.

Four months ago, when the world began to shut down, fear prevailed. I was grateful to have a roof over my head, two square meals a day and people I loved safe. I listened to spiritual greats every day and meditated without fail. Nothing else mattered. I was content to be alive with what little I had. From that gratitude stemmed the realization that I do not need much to be happy, that sitting in stillness and being in touch with that deeper part of myself makes my life complete.

Yet, here I am now, with the fear of the virus slowly dissolving. I have returned to my pre-pandemic definitions of success and happiness – bigger home, vacations in exotic locales and a great looking body. The lessons learned in the pandemic have been transient. Why else would SSR’s suicide shock me? And why else would a friend’s increased purchasing power make me happy? After all in the interim I had learned that material wealth and fame does not guarantee fulfillment. Yet, just as quickly as I have learned, I seem to have also forgotten that untainted joy stems from within.

“Om Poornamadah, Om Poornamidam Purnat Purnamudachyate,

Purnasya Purnamadaya Purnamevavashishyate.”

(That (the source) is complete, this (creation) is complete as well. After completeness is taken away from completeness, only completeness remains. )

In essence, the divine source is within me and by my very nature I AM COMPLETE.

The phone rings.

“Hey, How’s the lesson plan coming along?” Pavani asks.

Ah- It’s time to get back to The Emotional Arc of Storytelling.

“Just starting, I’ll ping you once I’m done,” I say.

As I go back to my lesson plan, Pavani’s words in the document bring a smile to my face – “Roller Coasters are a great metaphor for life. We go up, we go down, but we don’t have to crash. We can learn to enjoy the ride.”

In a few moments prior I have like a roller coaster gone all around the twists and turns in my mind, from emotions and feelings to depression to joy and completion. I am yet unsure of whether depression is an emotion or a feeling or why it is so rampant and if life will ever return to the way it was before the pandemic. But, what I do know is I do not need anyone or anything to complete me and the knowing that the power is within is the anchor will steady me during the turbulence.

Thank you team DYWT. The prompt gave a realized completion to my thoughts. And of course, Thank You readers. I am grateful to you all for journeying along with me in my musings.

-Vidya Murlidhar

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